When am I?

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Collingwood
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Location: Old Guffaw
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When am I?

Post by Collingwood » Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:44 pm

Image

Where is my trusty hound, Wolf? Why are my clothes ragged? Why, here at my accustomed watering hole, has King George's portrait been replaced by the mug of an orange-wigged Atlantic City casino real estate shyster? And why do I keep hearing the strange word, "alt-right," used to defame the quaint chin-wagging of my long-time neighbours?

No ... It can't be. ... I've been roofied and used as a bowling backstop by Henry Hudson's nine-pin players for lo these twenty years? Mother always said my good looks would be the death of me. Me too! Me two! Too Hoo! ... Ah yes, another pint might help. Thank you kindly.

But oh, the dreams I've had. Thunder, lightning, baying at the moon, tree-branches creaking. A wizened Jewish instability-peddler drugging me and leaving to be nine-pinned by a clothes snob who thinks he's Machiavelli, a Bronze Age Pervert, a coiner who fancies "joint-stock realms" in blissful ignorance that Massachusetts started out as one, a low-hanging-fruit picker trying to pass for Sherlock Holmes, a 66-year-old imp who wishes he were still at Virginia Tech, a Helen of Troy begging to make me immortal with a kiss, and a Canadian grad student wondering what all the others have in common.

Nastier still, I sometimes dreamt that I was back in school, having grown six more legs and being dangled over the common-room hearth-fire by Jonathan Edwards.

Ah, thanks again. A nip of the strong stuff at least makes Helen look blurrier. A Happy New Year to you, whatever year this may be.

-- Collingwood

Jim the Moron
Posts: 1721
Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2016 9:51 pm

Re: When am I?

Post by Jim the Moron » Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:56 pm

Welcome to the forum, Collingwood!

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you contribute to the old original Spengler AT forum?

Collingwood
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2020 10:27 am
Location: Old Guffaw
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Re: When am I?

Post by Collingwood » Fri Jan 10, 2020 1:14 pm

"The old original AT Spengler forum"? ... Hard to remember anything before the nine-pins. Helen of Troy tells me I once moderated something called a "Spengler forum." But what does she know? You should ask one of the customers who aren't imaginary. Preferably a sober one.

-- Collingwood

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Milo
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Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2016 10:14 pm

Re: When am I?

Post by Milo » Fri Jan 10, 2020 3:00 pm

Indeed, welcome back!

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Doc
Posts: 3749
Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2016 7:09 pm
Location: Cradle To Grave

Re: When am I?

Post by Doc » Fri Jan 10, 2020 3:59 pm

Collingwood wrote:
Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:44 pm
Image

Where is my trusty hound, Wolf? Why are my clothes ragged? Why, here at my accustomed watering hole, has King George's portrait been replaced by the mug of an orange-wigged Atlantic City casino real estate shyster? And why do I keep hearing the strange word, "alt-right," used to defame the quaint chin-wagging of my long-time neighbours?

No ... It can't be. ... I've been roofied and used as a bowling backstop by Henry Hudson's nine-pin players for lo these twenty years? Mother always said my good looks would be the death of me. Me too! Me two! Too Hoo! ... Ah yes, another pint might help. Thank you kindly.

But oh, the dreams I've had. Thunder, lightning, baying at the moon, tree-branches creaking. A wizened Jewish instability-peddler drugging me and leaving to be nine-pinned by a clothes snob who thinks he's Machiavelli, a Bronze Age Pervert, a coiner who fancies "joint-stock realms" in blissful ignorance that Massachusetts started out as one, a low-hanging-fruit picker trying to pass for Sherlock Holmes, a 66-year-old imp who wishes he were still at Virginia Tech, a Helen of Troy begging to make me immortal with a kiss, and a Canadian grad student wondering what all the others have in common.

Nastier still, I sometimes dreamt that I was back in school, having grown six more legs and being dangled over the common-room hearth-fire by Jonathan Edwards.

Ah, thanks again. A nip of the strong stuff at least makes Helen look blurrier. A Happy New Year to you, whatever year this may be.

-- Collingwood

Collinwood !!! Its been a long time. Good to see you here.
“"I fancied myself as some kind of god....It is a sort of disease when you consider yourself some kind of god, the creator of everything, but I feel comfortable about it now since I began to live it out.” -- George Soros

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