Groundhog Day

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Booklady
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Groundhog Day

Post by Booklady » Mon Jan 30, 2017 9:57 pm

Wait for it.... :o :shock:
A saucer of cream will do for me, thank you for your kindness.

Jim the Moron
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Re: Groundhog Day

Post by Jim the Moron » Mon Jan 30, 2017 10:40 pm

Why wait? As we speak, children in this area are pulling out their stocks of dried alfalfa, timothy, and clover, to make little bundles of offerings to emerging groundhogs (or woodchucks, if you will). It all seems innocent enough, to those unaware of what is really going on in Marmota monax tunnels.

P. Phil, for example, is now entertaining a bevy of groundsows in his tunnels, engaging in depravities normally attributable only to the Thai royal family. Excessive consumption of fermented alfalfa is commonplace throughout. Pagan chants of "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood" ring out across the lower forty.

Will Phil be in any condition to see his shadow (or anything else, for that matter) remains to be seen.

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lzzrdgrrl
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Re: Groundhog Day

Post by lzzrdgrrl » Tue Jan 31, 2017 10:31 am

Absolutely required for this holiday celebration:

Let's try this modelling exercise. Let's envision a world in a parallel universe somewhere let's say, where I'm right.........

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Booklady
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Re: Groundhog Day

Post by Booklady » Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:09 pm

Jim the Moron wrote:Why wait? As we speak, children in this area are pulling out their stocks of dried alfalfa, timothy, and clover, to make little bundles of offerings to emerging groundhogs (or woodchucks, if you will). It all seems innocent enough, to those unaware of what is really going on in Marmota monax tunnels.

P. Phil, for example, is now entertaining a bevy of groundsows in his tunnels, engaging in depravities normally attributable only to the Thai royal family. Excessive consumption of fermented alfalfa is commonplace throughout. Pagan chants of "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood" ring out across the lower forty.

Will Phil be in any condition to see his shadow (or anything else, for that matter) remains to be seen.
I am shocked, shocked, I tell you. Punxsutawney Phil was always such a straight guy, how can you say such things, Jim! Maybe Sir Walter Wally, or Buckeye Chuck, or even French Creek Freddy, but not my Phil!

I Never! :shock:
A saucer of cream will do for me, thank you for your kindness.

Jim the Moron
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Re: Groundhog Day

Post by Jim the Moron » Thu Feb 02, 2017 6:11 am

Sorry to have been the one to break it to you, Booklady, but your P. Phil is a rogue and a reprobate of the first order. Fortunately some of his bachelor groundhog buddies got wind of his condition last night, and entered his tunnels. There they found Phil passed out, surrounded by several groundsows of low repute. After kicking out the strumpets, they woke Phil up, and gave him some of the hair of the dog that bit him (fermented alfalfa). Then, just in time, they pushed him outside for the ceremony.

"Winter Is Still Coming, Punxsutawney Phil Says"
http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/ ... -phil-says

"He's squealin', he's hollerin'!"

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SteveFoerster
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Re: Groundhog Day

Post by SteveFoerster » Thu Feb 02, 2017 6:57 am

Jim the Moron wrote:
Thu Feb 02, 2017 6:11 am
Sorry to have been the one to break it to you, Booklady, but your P. Phil is a rogue and a reprobate of the first order. Fortunately some of his bachelor groundhog buddies got wind of his condition last night, and entered his tunnels. There they found Phil passed out, surrounded by several groundsows of low repute. After kicking out the strumpets, they woke Phil up, and gave him some of the hair of the dog that bit him (fermented alfalfa). Then, just in time, they pushed him outside for the ceremony.

"Winter Is Still Coming, Punxsutawney Phil Says"
http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/ ... -phil-says

"He's squealin', he's hollerin'!"
Thank god his accuracy rate is 37%. Him saying winter means more than likely spring is near!
Writer, technologist, educator, gadfly.
President of New World University: http://newworld.ac

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Booklady
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Re: Groundhog Day

Post by Booklady » Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:57 am

Jim, I'm still in denial. See you next year.

Broken hearted Booklady
A saucer of cream will do for me, thank you for your kindness.

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lzzrdgrrl
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Re: Groundhog Day

Post by lzzrdgrrl » Thu Feb 02, 2017 3:50 pm

Public radio says he's bumping 50% - five times correct out of the last ten years........'>........
Let's try this modelling exercise. Let's envision a world in a parallel universe somewhere let's say, where I'm right.........

Jim the Moron
Posts: 532
Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2016 9:51 pm

Re: Groundhog Day

Post by Jim the Moron » Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:17 pm

"in June, amid the golden fields,
I saw a groundhog lying dead"

"Half with loathing, half with a strange love,
I poked him with an angry stick."

"And through my frame a sunless trembling.
My stick had done nor good nor harm."

The Groundhog (Eberhart)
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems- ... tail/42978

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